Because we need a little business, right this very minute...

So all those e-books that the Kindle-rati have been bragging about?

The ones that their doddering old hardcover relatives.

Turns out a big portion of them were free.

According to a count done by GalleyCat on December 27, 64 of the top 100 books on Kindle's bestseller list were as free as a gay country schoolteacher on a Saturday night (1).

As interesting but somewhat depressing is the Washington Post article that inspired the survey.

From the Post: "...Amazon's customers have made it clear that $9.99 is still too high for their taste. Most titles in the company's list of top 100 Kindle bestsellers are priced below $9.99, and the most popular price point is $0.00."

$9.99 is too much for a book.

Sigh.

1. What? 

Learning something new.

The phrase I'm thinking is "a normal person."

As in, a normal person would take a deep breath and be grateful that they have a job (1) and get on with it.

I'm not a normal person.

The New Year is coming and I'm thinking I'm ready for something new in the New Year. Something that gets me out of bed as excited to hit the ground running as teaching does.

One bit is in the works already (2).

I'm also pretty excited to have found a great new thing already.

Do you know about the The Institute for the Future of the Book?

I didn't. Till now.

How cool are these people?

Answer: Very.

1. Okay...a few jobs.
2. Later.

Synchronized gifting.

VanPelt sent a package for Christmas.

Actually, better than a package. VanPelt sent a big packing envelope with books in it.

This is something that happens every now and again and it's always fantastic.

Why is that?

Because books from VanPelt are usually the kind of amazing thing you find after pawing through the giant boxes of items donated to a church yard sale. They're little treasures that haven't been on the shelf of Borders in a while or, if they still are, they're a bit buried behind the giant display for the latest publisher-engineered blockbuster.

A favorite sits on the desk where I write. ThomPain (based on nothing), a slim little book of monologues that I adore.

Here's a passage:

"So a horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" And the horse says, "I'm dying of AIDS and I guess I feel a little sorry for myself. " So the bartender says, "My God, that's awful. I'm so sorry."

[Brief pause.]

"I'm forgetting some part of it. But you get the point, you see the hilarity. It's funny because it's true."

No, huh? Well, trust me. Later you'll think it's really, really funny. Maybe not ha, ha funny...but NEA grant money funny.

But back to the new books. Here's the cool thing.

VanPelt sent me a copy of Florida on the Boil: Recommended Novels and Short Story Collections Set in the Sunshine State.

Leopold's gift to me?

Little town of Bethlehem...it's a trip to Florida to visit my Auntie Compassion (1).

Great minds, eh?

1. Not her real name but a nickname that has far wider traffic than this blog.

snooow, sn-OOOOW, SNOW!

Growing up there were a few marketable skills passed along as part of the cultural package.

You learned how to pick lobster meat.

You learned how to mix a great Bloody Mary (1).

And you learned how to shovel.

"Shovel?" I hear you thinking. "How hard is it to shovel?"

If we're just talking the physical act of shoveling, not hard at all.

If, however, we're discussing the etiquette and art of shoveling...well that's another thing altogether.

First, if you are shoveling a pathway your finished path should be wider than the shovel itself. The one swipe and then you're done method...that was the kind of shoddy work that used to get us all sent back outside for another pass.

If your neighbor has shoveled first it's pretty much good manners to take the extra time to connect your shoveled piece of the sidewalk to their shoveled piece of the sidewalk. Leaving two or three feet undone because of some vague sense of property line is, well, kind of sad.

And, finally, if your neighbor has taken the time to shovel their car out and you just haven't had the chance it's fine to grab the empty space...as long as you shovel it forward. If your car is in a space that you haven't shoveled, clean another one out for the guy whose space you took. If everyone does it the street gets cleaned out and, saints be praised, parking for everyone.

He's not sure exactly why (2) but somewhere out there my dad is very, very proud.

1. Okay. Maybe that was just at my house.

2. As he is not one of my three readers... Oh! And one follower! I have a follower! Hi follower!!!

Tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp...

The Independent has joined the rush to the second decade of the 21st century (1) and published a list of heroes and villians...people who made their mark in the first 10 years of the noughts.

These are people we'll remember.

Maybe for being very, very good. Maybe for being very, very bad.

Among the motley crew is Belle de Jour, the call girl blogger who was later revealed to be a researcher.

Here's what they had to say:

"Unlike most self-obsessed bloggers, this 30-something 300£

-a-night hooker at least found something interesting to put on her site. Her anonymous musings became the most dreaded of things, a 'publishing sensation'; and then she outed herself as research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti. Now she's just another author with a book to plug."

What's interesting is that I didn't go to the site with the intention of reading this particular article but, instead, one about the declining sales of some bigger name authors whose books usually jump off the shelves.

In my head these two stories have become connected.

Books have joined movies in needing to be blockbusters. Unfortunately, unlike movies, publishers have all but abandoned the indies. A big name is better than a really heartfelt novel. A memoir penned in the general vicinity of a Hollywood star far more attractive than a well-crafted collection of short stories. A good story is only as good as its marketing buzz.

And all of this because, we are told, that's what people want to read...which is when we get into a chicken-egg swirl of asking if these books are what's published because it's what readers want or if this is what readers read because that's what's being published.

You can check out the rest of The Independent's rogues gallery here.

Just be sure to leave 300£ on the nightstand when you're done.

1. Did I say that right?

Christmas time is here...Happiness and cheer...

Turns out that all those weather forecasts were correct and we got a whole lot of snow dumped on us here in our nation's capital.

Big picture, it's fantastically beautiful and has really done a good deal to kick off the holidays. Not that I haven't known they were coming, but now it feels like Christmastime.

The other remarkable thing is that people around here really haven't started complaining about the snow.

This is very, very rare.

Usually, when a bare dusting makes its way through town, people start pining for the return of summer.

But now it seems that many of our neighbors are new to the idea of snow. They're a collection of Southern transplants who were genuinely excited to get out and watch our streets and sidewalks slowly disappear under a thick white blanket.

I love the snow. I've even made a practice of digging out the sidewalk for a good portion of our block...clearing out for a few houses in both directions.

What I will never get used to is how snow immobilizes the city. Sidewalks will be impassable on some blocks until the spring thaw. Subways and busses will take a while to get back on track which kind of has me dreading tomorrow morning's commute. Shoveled parking spaces are going to become the equivalent of wartime nylons.

But even with all that, there's no more denying it...Christmastime is here...happiness and cheer...fun for all...the children call...their favorite time of year.

Yeah. Pretty corny ending. I know.

Bathroom Humor.

So...last night I went to review a show.

I can't tell you what I thought of the show but I can share a handy tip.

If you're ever cast in a show have someone else do a quick read of your bio before you start passing it around.

And why is that?

Because sometimes shows have funny names and sometimes the winds of chance blow you hither and yon, sometimes in paths that surprise and astound.

And it may be that, while all of the parts were fantastic and notable, you might want to make certain some shows don't get listed back to back.

You know, so your credit listing doesn't include a string like this: Urinetown, Sweet Smell of Success...

But maybe that's just me.